Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shamed. Then
I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all
their hopes and dreams

If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams,
would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this
wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my
liver."

~ Jack Handy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning
that is as good as they're going to feel all day"
Frank Sinatra

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we
fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So,
let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"
~ Benjamin Franklin

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One
afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm.

Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest
and weakest ones
at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the
herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group
keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the
same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain
cells. Excessive in take of alcohol as we know kills brain cells. But
naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way
regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the
brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel
smarter after a few beers."